Guy Finds Out He’s Been Masturbating Wrong His Entire Life

A guy took to Reddit to explain how he has been masturbating wrong his entire life. His embarrassing story of self discovery will leave you speechless.

Not much can leave me speechless… but this came damn close. A man took to Reddit to share with the world anonymously that he has been masturbating wrong his entire life… and everyone on the internet is now laughing at him.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘there couldn’t be a wrong way to do it’ but bear with me, because this guy goes on to prove that there is such a thing.

via GIPHY

If you are as sheltered as he is, there are plenty of ‘informational’ videos on the internet. This is a very well documented activity with plenty of history behind it… so how the hell could he be getting it wrong?

In a Reddit post which has since been deleted, the Reddit user explains:

“This is gigantic fuck up that has accumulated to the point where I have to untangle the fuck out of this web. So, I’m a 21 year old dude that has masturbated in an odd way. Like you all know, guys stroke their shaft up and down till they climax.

As a kid that grew up very sheltered and in an open space, it was pretty hard to actually masturbate. I would be constantly interrupted by my sibling or parents since they love to annoy the fuck out of me.

Anyways, the way I do it since I’m uncircumcised is I just rub the skin over the head, kind of like a pinching motion just right the top to achieve amazing orgasms. This continued on up until I was 18 and had the means to travel to another city for university.

As a first year, sheltered dude, that barely even spoke to a girl, frosh week was the fucking bomb. Got smashed, girls were grinding on me at clubs, it was fucking marvelous. Now you’re probably wondering ok where is the fuck up?

Well on one of those nights a girl decided she was taking me home. We were fooling on the bus and once we got to her place, all clothes immediately fell off and I was ready to lose my virginity. I could literally feel the rush of euphoria through my veins knowing that this place is so fucking awesome.

So, as I was pushing my cock into her, I felt this HUGE amount of pain. I had no idea what the fuck it was but I tried again and it happened AGAIN. Lost my erection immediately after that and I proceeded to do my walk of shame back home.

Later on at home, what I found was my foreskin has never been pulled back. Like ever. So, the head was SUPPPERRR fucking sensitive. I could barely let it touch water. It took three fucking years to desensitize it and since I’ve been masturbating by pinching the foreskin head, I can’t cum from just stroking it up and down.

For the past 3 weeks I’ve quit porn since I heard that would help me cum from intercourse so now I just have to wait till I actually have sex to see if that’s true.”

Many users on Reddit found it hard to believe that this guy could be messing up something so simple for so long, while others had different concerns – like that how there is no way he has been properly cleaning his manhood his entire life.

As for me, I’m just glad I got this opportunity to share the story with you. Your Monday couldn’t seem so bad now after all, right?

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